Having trust in your marriage is essential. Trust important in all relationships, but when you marry someone, trust is even more important, simply for the reason alone that marriages these days don't often last. We go into marriage hoping for the best but often we secretly distrust in the institution because of what society has told us.
One must trust their spouse to make important financial decisions, to be where they say they are going to be, to show support and encouragement in dark times. If you can't trust your spouse in these issues (or with any area of married life) you have to find a way to rebuild that trust, or you both have to go your separate ways.
So many couples sweep their marriage problems under the rug, not wanting to deal with the fact that there are too many broken promises and hurt feelings in the relationship to count. Feeling too overwhelmed by the damaging effects of distrust is a recipe for denial. And denial usually leads to a riff in the marriage so large that the only way to mend it is to divorce and hope to one day be civil with one another.
Distrust is at the root of EVERY martial conflict. If you truly trusted your spouse, you would always give them the benefit of the doubt. You would assume that all their motives were pure, no matter how poor the execution of their actions. You wouldn't jump on their case all the time, allowing yourself to be wounded by the small stuff.
It's very important that your spouse and you both work to KEEP trust alive in the marriage. It's easy for me to tell you to find it in your heart to trust your spouse, but if he or she has proven him or herself untrustworthy, then you need to speak up and politely yet directly DEMAND honesty and the promise of honor.
Have a conversation tonight with your spouse and ask him or her how you both can get back to a trusting relationship. If one of you has cheated the other in some way (an affair, a financial lie, and family betrayal) it's best to seek out a couples therapist who can help both of you heal the brokenness.
The brokenness cannot heal on its own. It must be addressed because most spouses will never forget a betrayal. The most one can hope for is that they are forgiven, and the first step to forgiveness is repentance, which happens best with the aid of couples counseling.
If your spouse is unwilling to work on rebuilding trust in your marriage, then you need to leave.
One must trust their spouse to make important financial decisions, to be where they say they are going to be, to show support and encouragement in dark times. If you can't trust your spouse in these issues (or with any area of married life) you have to find a way to rebuild that trust, or you both have to go your separate ways.
So many couples sweep their marriage problems under the rug, not wanting to deal with the fact that there are too many broken promises and hurt feelings in the relationship to count. Feeling too overwhelmed by the damaging effects of distrust is a recipe for denial. And denial usually leads to a riff in the marriage so large that the only way to mend it is to divorce and hope to one day be civil with one another.
Distrust is at the root of EVERY martial conflict. If you truly trusted your spouse, you would always give them the benefit of the doubt. You would assume that all their motives were pure, no matter how poor the execution of their actions. You wouldn't jump on their case all the time, allowing yourself to be wounded by the small stuff.
It's very important that your spouse and you both work to KEEP trust alive in the marriage. It's easy for me to tell you to find it in your heart to trust your spouse, but if he or she has proven him or herself untrustworthy, then you need to speak up and politely yet directly DEMAND honesty and the promise of honor.
Have a conversation tonight with your spouse and ask him or her how you both can get back to a trusting relationship. If one of you has cheated the other in some way (an affair, a financial lie, and family betrayal) it's best to seek out a couples therapist who can help both of you heal the brokenness.
The brokenness cannot heal on its own. It must be addressed because most spouses will never forget a betrayal. The most one can hope for is that they are forgiven, and the first step to forgiveness is repentance, which happens best with the aid of couples counseling.
If your spouse is unwilling to work on rebuilding trust in your marriage, then you need to leave.
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